How not to get hurt or let down.
There’s a great quote by Maya Angelou, “Hoping for the best, prepared for the worst, and unsurprised by anything in between.”
Every day you’ll no doubt hear someone say or you might even say yourself, “what an asshole”, when referring to someone else.
Let’s face it, people are assholes (shits, douchebags, dick splashes and if you’re Scottish, @unts). I’ve been an asshole and I bet you’ve been asshole too. I bet you’ve hurt people and let them down. Arguably I’m an asshole for writing this.
I tell my kids to give people the benefit of the doubt. I’m not sure I mean it but to be honest, I do try to give folks the benefit of the doubt. 9/10 the assholes let me down though! But that’s my issue for not wearing my asshole radar ears and assuming they’ll act in a certain way.
I think the knack is not to assume that people will act the way you want them too and instead, be completely open minded knowing that they might be an asshole but then again, they might surprise you and be a rock star.
I always remember one “friend”. It was right after my family had an unfortunate event and we were short of money. I met her for coffee. I turned up after her and she already had her coffee. I ordered mine and then offered to pay for her coffee. She’d already paid for her coffee. After I paid for mine and sat down, she said to me “I suppose I should have bought your coffee given your situation”. That was the last time I saw her. I didn’t expect her to buy me coffee but I didn’t expect the condescending bitchery. And there’s why her comment stung. Maybe she just wasn’t thinking but maybe she was just being an asshole.
There’s always 2 ways to look at any situation. I remember as a child, going back to our car after visiting a restaurant with my parents only to find that someone had broken into the car and stolen the bag I stupidly left on the back seat. Did that make the thief a shit or was the thief starving and penniless and hoping that my bag contained money (which incidentally it didn’t) to help feed his or her family (maybe in today’s world I shouldn’t be using the he/she words but that’s for another day…..).
So how not to get hurt or let down. Assume that people are assholes but be opened minded.
Give people the benefit of the doubt but be conscious that they may (9 times out of 10) let you down. In other words, assume they are an asshole until proven otherwise. So to repeat Maya Angelou but in my words, “hope for the best, prepare to encounter an asshole and be pleasantly surprised if they’re not!